My New Markets
Service Animals’ Workers Comp
Market Detail: Every year, 1,600 service dogs are hurt on the job working with police and fire investigators and the elderly and blind. DoggieWC can take the pain out of those high vet bills that strain municipal and family budgets. This is a managed care network of pet medical services for service dogs. In exchange for giving up their right to sue their handlers over any work-related injury, the dogs obtain discounted medical care and are enrolled in a back-to-bark program.
Available limits: Available limits: $1 million on weekdays; $2 million on Fri. and Sat.
Carrier: DoggieWC
States: All states.
Contact: 1-203-K999.
After the Fact Earthquake
Market Detail: When the Big One Hits Brokers (www.wetoldyouitwouldhappen.com) offers protection for homeowners and businesses that are uninsured when an earthquake happens. No more having to hear “I told you so” after the “big one” hits. Clients can now get coverage after it happens!
Available limits: Maximum $300.
Carrier: Unable to disclose, admitted.
States: California and other states on fault lines.
Contact: Customer service at 555-Earthquakes.
Drunk Pilot Program
Market Detail: Stupid People Insurance Co. (www.drunkpilotinsurance.com) offers coverage in the event that a pilot shows up drunk to fly. Coverage includes a crisis response team that will physically remove the pilot from the captain’s seat and transport him to the local drunk tank. The coverage also provides a replacement pilot. Minimum premiums start at $50,000.
Available limits: As needed.
Carrier: Unable to disclose.
States: All States.
Contact: Jeff Fillinger at 555-Fly-Plane or e-mail: flyplane@drunkpilot.com.
Rich Executive Protection
Market Detail: Protect the Rich Insurance Services (www.itsnotmyfaultyouarepoor.com) has developed a program tailored specifically to wealthy executives or politicians who need to “get out of dodge” in the event of a financial crisis, large oil spill, Ponzi scheme, tax evasion or sex scandal. Coverage features include a private jet to transport the executive; accommodations on an undisclosed private island; and an unlimited supply of all of the executive’s desires to get him/her through the trying time. Premiums are covered by taxpayers.
Available limits: $500 million minimum, no maximum.
Carriers: Unable to disclose (for obvious reasons).
States: N.Y., Calif.
Contact: Customer service at 555-Protect-Rich.
Divorce Coverage
Market Detail: Love Bites Professional Services (www.marriedthewrongperson.com) offers coverage in the event of dissolution of a marriage. Coverage will pay for a top divorce lawyer, all expenses of divorce proceedings, as well as reimbursement for whatever cosmetic procedures the client needs to put them “back on the market.” Enhancements to this coverage include a social networking specialist who will tell all the details on the soon to be ex-significant other on all social media sites, including but not limited to sites such as Facebook, Twitter and dating Web sites as well. Coverage also ensures that insured pays no spousal support, no matter what.
Available limits: As needed.
Carrier: Unable to disclose, admitted and non-admitted available.
States: All States.
Contact: Laura Lovington at 555-LOVE-BITES or at llovington@lovebites.com.
Sandwich Reputation
Market Detail: A New York-style deli names a giant sandwich made of roast beef, corned beef, bacon and horseradish after your actress client who objects because she is a vegetarian. Or a local burger joint names its grilled tofu burger with sprouts after a football player you insure but he thinks it makes him seem girly. As a result, their reputations, endorsement opportunities and careers are diminished. Help is here from FoodRepCo. This policy covers legal action against the offending sandwich vendor to have the item removed from the menu and monetary damages for reputational harm and lost endorsements. Special pizza and alcoholic drink endorsements endorsements available.
Available limits: $1 million on weekdays; $2 million on Fri. and Sat.
Carrier: FoodRepCo.
States: All states.
Contact: Reservations required. Like us at www.sandwichliability.facebook.
Human Insurance for Pets
Market Detail: Insure Your Humans Insurance Agency (www.insureyourhumans.com) offers insurance for pets against human laziness and ignorance. This insurance guarantees that no pet will be ignored or left unattended, ever. Coverage features a dog walker and required daily visits to the dog park. It also offers an enhancement that protects against angry owners in the event of “accidents” or destruction of property, such as shoes, furniture, etc. Man’s best friend deserves the best!
Available limits: As needed.
Carrier: PetFriends.
States: All states.
Contact: Customer Service at 555-Pet-Friends.