25 Fears That Can’t Be Insured Against

August 15, 2011 by
Editor’s Note: This article originally appeared in Insurance Journal’s Satire Issue, August 15, 2011. The content in this issue is not real and is not to be taken seriously. It’s supposed to be humorous. Seriously.
  1. Children possessed by demons
  2. Donald Trump
  3. Reality TV shows that have nothing to do with reality
  4. “Prophets” who predict the end of the world
  5. Teenagers
  6. Radio-TV preachers
  7. National debt levels in developed countries, especially the U.S.
  8. Planned parenthood – an oxymoron, if there ever was one
  9. Leaf blowers
  10. Black helicopters
  11. Twitter, Facebook and LinkedIn
  12. “Evildoers” and “Do-Gooders”
  13. Flying saucers and other “aliens”
  14. “Free” credit cards
  15. Alligators, pythons and other large beasts in sewer systems
  16. High heels
  17. Poisonous toads
  18. Darwin award contestants (but not winners)
  19. Vampires, zombies and werewolves
  20. Bin Laden’s followers
  21. Freeway closures (in L.A.)
  22. People who are famous for being famous
  23. E. coli
  24. TV ads for embarrassing pharmaceutical products
  25. Republicans and Democrats