Man with Tongue Stuck to Peacock Falls Off Burning Bike with No Shorts On, Is Then Saved by Umbrella

The following stories were submitted by readers of Insurance Journal.

• Some insurers offer contractors a policy with an option for a “Sunset Clause” that restricts the number of years to file a claim. We presented it to our agent as an option to lower the price. The response: “Please bind the “sunset clause” option; my insured (contractor) doesn’t work after sundown!”

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• Adjuster received a claim for a barn that burned down. Mrs. Insured said since husband was out of town, she was handling claim. She said the barn was worth more than the $100,000 it was scheduled for; no need to inspect, just send the money. Adjuster said he could not just send $100,000, had to inspect and take photos. It was a replacement cost policy and he said he had to make sure she got back what she had before. Mrs. Insured said that was silly, nothing to see, only ashes remained, just send the money and save all that travel. She didn’t want what she had before; they would use the money to build a modern barn. Adjuster said that is not how insurance works. He had to inspect and make sure she gets paid for what she had before. Mrs. Insured then said, “Well, if insurance always gives you back what you had before, cancel the life insurance on my husband!”

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• I remember an old cartoon where a man is sitting at his desk talking on the phone and he says: “So you want us to pay your claim, refund your premium, and shoot your adjuster?”

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• I was surprised to hear my client ask, “Are peacocks covered under my policy?” Peacocks? Really? Trying very hard not to laugh, I asked what happened. “The peacock attacked my friend’s car.” So being a good agent I took his information and promptly called the adjuster, who laughed at me. The adjuster went to the insured’s house and adjusted the claim. The next day the adjuster told me the rest of the story. The friend parked in the driveway and the peacock saw his reflection in the car. The peacock thought his reflection was another peacock. It seems that peacocks can be territorial. The car looked like it had been through a hailstorm. The car was covered in blood and broken glass. The peacock lived.

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• A friend and I were riding our mountain bikes along a trail and he started talking to me about how he needs to get bike insurance. I’m behind him wondering where is he getting this idea of bike insurance. There’s no such beast. So I shouted back, “Dude, there’s no such thing as bike insurance!” He stopped his bike and looked at me with a puzzled look on his face. He said, “I’m talking about biking shorts.”

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• I was sitting with new prospect discussing what policies he currently has. I asked if he had homeowners insurance, auto insurance, flood insurance, umbrella? He said, “What good would an umbrella be in a flood?”

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• I was at a managing general agency when an agent called with a claim from her insured, a large nightclub. A go-go dancer had fallen off the bar while dancing and fell on a customer. Her stiletto heels lodged in his thigh and was stuck in the bar stool. The customer, stool and heel were transported to the hospital by ambulance. The app said nothing about dancers.

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• From an agency automation salesman: I met an agent at a convention and asked her (as is my job responsibility) what it would take for her to be paperless. Without missing a beat, she looked me in the eye and said, “A fire.”

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• A client put in a workers’ compensation claim regarding an employee who was found on the floor of a walk-in freezer with his tongue stuck to a metal rack that fell on top of him. The fire department was called in to help “detach” the bar from his tongue and remove the rack. An investigation revealed hat the employee was putting a chocolate cake on the shelf and some chocolate dripped out. The employee licked the chocolate only to have his tongue stick to the pole. To loosen his tongue he shook the rack, which then fell upon him.