Florida Windfields to Steer Hurricanes

August 15, 2011
Editor’s Note: This article originally appeared in Insurance Journal’s Satire Issue, August 15, 2011. The content in this issue is not real and is not to be taken seriously. It’s supposed to be humorous. Seriously.

Florida is looking to get a leg up on green technology by setting up windfields to capture the energy generated by hurricane winds or send then spinning in a different direction.

Acme Turbines, whose motto is “If it blows, we spin,” is setting up turbines all along the coast to capture the kilowatts that could be generated by the 100-mile plus winds produced by hurricanes.

Acme owner Pete Whistler said a good Saffir-Simpson Category 2 Storm with sustained winds between 96 and 110 miles-per-hour would be enough to keep the traffic lights in Miami on for several weeks.

Another benefit of the windfields is that by reversing the motion of the turbines, potentially ruinous hurricanes could be diverted toward other states. “It’s not that we wish bad things on other states,” said Whistler. “We just want to keep the golf courses open in Florida.”