Terminating Employment: It Doesn’t Have to Be Painful

Leaders likely have or at some point will need to make the decision to terminate a team member’s employment. Parting ways with an employee can be one of the most intimidating and difficult things to do as a leader. To complicate matters, there are often long-term working relationships or close personal friendships at play that can complicate the process and add additional layers of stress to an already nerve-wracking situation. All of this “emotional baggage” can lead managers to make poor choices at critical moments in the termination meeting, resulting in enflamed emotions, muddled messages and precarious legal positions.

There are many good and bad practices of leaders when it comes to ending a team member’s employment. While each termination is unique and should be addressed individually, there are a number of best practices to keep in mind that will help to facilitate the termination process and eliminate costly mistakes.

Keep the Meeting Short

Terminations are unpleasant and uncomfortable for everyone involved, and they are a lightning rod for legal action. The longer employers talk, the greater the chance of saying something that will be regretted later. Don’t belabor the point. Keep the meeting short, under 15 minutes if possible.

If more discussion needs to occur with the employee, then the leader is not ready for the termination discussion. Those conversations should be conducted before the final meeting. The termination meeting itself is all about clearly and succinctly delivering the employer’s message and supplying the employee with any information he or she should have before leaving the building. It is not the time for debate or push back.

Some employees will try to argue the decision, ask the employer to reconsider or use other defensive tactics to keep the company representative talking to delay the inevitable. Be direct, stay on point and remain in control.

Maintain Their Dignity

Even if someone has behaved in an egregious way, always allow the person to maintain his or her dignity and treat the person with respect. How you treat someone in the final 15 minutes of employment will significantly influence the person’s decision to pursue legal action. Walking the person out of the office flanked by managers or security, while carrying a box of personal items, is humiliating. Try to put yourself in the former employee’s shoes. How would you want to be treated if this was happening to you? Consider offering to meet the person after hours to pack up their desk, especially if they are a tenured employee and have a lot of personal items in the office. Offer to get the person a taxi if they carpool with other people so they don’t have to wait around. Unless the situation dictates otherwise, allow the former employee to say a brief goodbye to friends and co-workers. Be safe and alert, but don’t hover while the person retrieves his or her personal items to leave.

Be Direct

The employer’s message during a termination meeting should be clear and direct. Unless you want a debate, (and trust me, you don’t) there should be no wiggle room in your words. If you have been honest in your discussions with the employee along the way, your decision to end their employment should not come as a surprise. Sum up your reasoning in a few sentences.

Don’t start talking just to fill any awkward silences. Allow the silence, in fact; learn to appreciate it as a way to give someone the space to let your message sink in. When you fill the silence, you end up inevitably saying things that confuse the employee or weaken your legal position. The truth is it hurts to be fired and you will not do yourself any favors by trying to take the sting out of your message and make the employee feel better.

Limit the Participants and Their Roles

While there may have been a number of managers or other employees involved in the process leading up to the termination, for the final meeting, try to really limit the individuals in the room to those who are absolutely essential.

I suggest only one manager (two at the most), and the human resources manager if you have one. You don’t want it to look like a firing squad. You will want a witness in the room any time you are conducting a termination, but again, choose wisely. Designate one person to do the talking and deliver the message. You can have the HR manager talk about final paychecks and benefits, but at that point it should be clear the meeting is concluded.

Plan Ahead

Thinking through all the possible reactions and response scenarios beforehand is critical to minimizing surprises. While we all want to believe that our co-workers and friends are not capable of making a scene or even escalating to violent behavior, as leaders, we have a responsibility to maintain a safe work environment. That means planning ahead so that you can better walk the line between being respectful to the individual, yet not allowing an extremely agitated person to walk out unattended into your workplace.

Ask yourself these questions:

• What’s the best location to minimize embarrassment and possible disruption?
• How will the employee get home after the meeting?
• What will be communicated to the rest of the team and who will do it?
• Would it help to have their final paycheck ready? (In some states you are obligated to do this, so check local laws.)
• What is likely to be their reaction? Do I need additional advice or resources before having this conversation?

Safety should always be a primary concern. If you believe that someone might become violent either during or after the termination meeting, consult your legal advisor and seek the advice of a good professional mental health counselor. I have had occasion to arrange for both off duty police officers and counselors available to be on site during a termination, just in case they were needed.

It is important to demonstrate compassion and support for the team member who is losing their job. Maintain your professionalism at all times, even if they don’t. In the end, after the dust has settled, most people will remember favorably the decency and kindness shown them during a difficult situation.

Terminations are a reality of business, and your ability to facilitate the process effectively will not only enhance your reputation as leader, but reduce legal costs and minimize disruption to the rest of your team.