Program Enlightenment

What exactly is a program? The American Heritage College Online Dictionary lists no fewer than seven primary meanings for the word when used as a noun, ranging from “1a. A listing of the order of events and other pertinent information for a public presentation. b. The presentation itself,” to “7. An instruction sequence in programmed instruction.” (Why do dictionaries always use a variation of the word itself to define the one you’re trying to understand?)

But none of those dictionary definitions came close to defining “program” as I’ve come to understand it in the insurance sense. So I decided to look it up in Merrit Publishing’s Glossary of Insurance Terms, 6th Edition. To my shock, dismay and general disbelief the word “program” was nowhere to be found.

Just for fun, I turned to Googlism.com. It’s a Web site unrelated to the well-known search engine Google.com but it uses Google a tool. My investigation turned up around 130 phrases that include “program”; all begin with: “Program is …”

Some examples (comments in parentheses are entirely my own):

Program is religious. (Well, to some maybe.)
Program is in for the long haul. (Hopefully, for your clients.)
Program is deeply flawed. (Buyer beware.)
Program is obsolete. (Hope not!)
Program is March 13 at the laboratory. (Whatever that means.)
Program is 3. (On a scale of what to what?)
Program is illegal Ponzi scheme. (Hmmm.)
Program is a fast track to railroad management. (Looking for a new career?)
Program is now available. (Many are–check out IJ‘s Program Directory)
Program is right for you. (Surely you can find one in IJ‘s Program Directory.)
Program is meant to save excess wild animals. (Your clients maybe?)
Program is a must. (From the mouth of a program administrator.)
Program is better than conventional. (See above.)
Program is money. (!)

Whatever your definition of the word is, be sure to “get with the program” by browsing through our 13th Annual Program Directory, Vol. 1, which begins on page N35 of this issue of Insurance Journal. And if you feel like it, send me a note about what you think a program is, in the insurance sense, of course.