My Thanksgiving Homeowners’ Policy Wishlist

If you’re like me and my family, you might need a little reminder of where we are in the calendar year.

Thanksgiving is this week in the U.S. That’s your reminder. You’re welcome.

By now, you’ve stopping thinking about insurance, even though customers are calling, emailing, and visiting you. Your body is in your office, but your mind is somewhere else with dreams (nightmares?) of this week’s festivities. You are taking a few days off from work this week so that you can work extra hard to host, or take part in, a huge family event. You took Friday off so that you could get up extra early to spend time with several hundred of your favorite people going shopping.

You need something a little light today. So, I’m writing about my Thanksgiving homeowners’ policy wish list. Here is some Thanksgiving related policy language that I wish existed on a homeowners’ policy.

DEEP-FRIED TURKEY OPTIONAL COVERAGE

We will cover losses related to the act of deep-frying a turkey, but only according to this additional coverage. All other losses related to deep-frying a turkey are excluded.

DEEP-FRIED TURKEY EXCLUSION

The act of deep-frying turkeys is excluded, except as covered under the DEEP-FRIED TURKEY OPTIONAL COVERAGE.

LEFTOVERS RESTRICTION

The term “leftovers” is defined as any food that is prepared for “Thanksgiving dinner” and is not consumed during the dinner. There is only coverage for leftovers that are kept within the dwelling. Any “to-go plates” or any dishes taken home with any family or guests are not covered once they are removed from the dwelling.

There is no coverage for bodily injury or property damage caused by pets when they are fed leftovers.

‘THAT ONE GUEST’ EXCLUSION

“That one guest” doesn’t really require definition. You know him or her, when he or she arrives at your dwelling. We just don’t want to cover any exposure that arrives with “that one guest.” Anything that “that one guest” is involved with, whether directly or indirectly, is excluded. This exclusion includes conversations, food or beverages brought by “that one guest”, and any incident that begins with the phrase, “Hey y’all, watch this,” or any similar phrase.

If you can’t find “that one guest” at your “Thanksgiving dinner,” it’s probably you and you are excluded while you’re “that one guest.”

I hope my Thanksgiving homeowners’ policy language made you chuckle a little. I wonder if you have any exclusions you would want for Thanksgiving? Let us know in the comments.